my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure