Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
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What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake