Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
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If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.