Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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