girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
