how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You're earring is so big in my mouth
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
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boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize