just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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