No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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