You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
