Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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