You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
