at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just found puke in my bra..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
