I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Couch. On fire.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
