Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
