Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
