Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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