Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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