I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize