just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
