I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
