why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
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