Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend