I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
