My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree