I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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