Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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