I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
