every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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