You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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