I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I queefed so loud it echoed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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