Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
