Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
