there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
