How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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