Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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