On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
