yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
