I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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