You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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