the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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