Me. At least after what I've been through.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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