so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
