It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
