sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
