She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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