id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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