U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just high enough for therapy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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