I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
