you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
