He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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