i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
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I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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