you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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