Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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