booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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