your thong is hanging out like whoa
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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