So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
bring money and cleavage
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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