Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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