So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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