adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
