is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
