There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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