If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
