My friends, they love my intelligence
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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